5 Things Every Husband Needs to Know

When I was engaged and about to get married I had come to the conclusion that I knew a lot about women and what it would take to be a good husband. I felt like I had done everything right as a single man and my wife and I had a great foundation together in Christ!

What I quickly learned is that there was a difference between head knowledge and working knowledge. Did I have the wisdom that I needed? Yes! Was it going to be easy to enforce in my life? No!

The fact is that EVERY Marriage is work. No matter if you have been married 30 years or 6 months, there will never be a moment that you will coast along in your marriage...Think of it this way...if you have the momentum to coast in a car..then you are obviously heading downhill! It's time to fuel your life with Vision and hit the acceleration by making the RIGHT investments into your relationship!

Foundation is key before marriage..but building upon what you know instead of going into coast mode is going to be the difference in a good marriage and a great marriage...and trust me, there is a major difference between good and great!

Here are the top 5 things that I have learned that I know will challenge and help some of you husbands out there!

1. You will never be perfect but you can be consistent

I think this is the biggest misconception with men because we are naturally very “work” motivated and competitive. For me, I have always struggled with "people pleasing" in the sense that I wanted to make sure everyone around me was happy with my performance. The problem with trying to make everyone happy, is that by juggling everyone's opinion you are left INCONSISTENT!

Here's the truth: Mans Perfection is an unattainable goal that you will never reach..why? Because every man's idea of perfection is different... Consistency, however, is fully attainable because you are being faithful in your own goals and purpose! DING-DING DING!!! This is what women really want! They want a man that is Consistently pursuing purpose!

Will you make mistakes? Yes! But if you keep picking yourself back up and you are faithful to your word you will be successful! You may not have all the qualities of what you think is the DREAM HUSBAND...but if you are faithful, honest, loyal, and dedicated you are destined for a great marriage! You don't have to be perfect...you just have to present! Your wife needs your support and vision more than she needs a Gucci Bag or a Diamond Bracelet. Your children need you there more than they need "things" that will just fade away! Most men put their passion in their work...not knowing that your work starts at home! That means making the decision to ALWAYS choose your Lady over everything else! Consult your wife and feel your wife's responses in every major work decision or trip! You can always take a trip with the buddies but you may never understand the hurt that comes from you not being there in a moment when your wife really needed you!

2. You don't have to know all the answers

I don't know about you but every time my wife has a problem or she is going through something emotionally, I feel the need to become a master investigator and try to solve the mystery of what's going on!! We as men are very ordered and logical in our thinking and sometimes that logical is actually narrow minded. Not that we mean to be...but it's hard for us to understand that the source of a problem that our wife is facing is in fact not 1 thing but a big melting pot of things that have added up over time....

Here's the deal...there are times when you need to help with the problem...especially if that problem surrounds you or something that you did...be a man and take the initiative to make it right, change your heart and ways! HOWEVER!!! I have learned that most of the time our wives do not need us to solve every problem they just want us to LISTEN!! That's big...

Learning the art of just listening will save your life! And when I say listen I don't mean let her talk while you watch TV. I mean UN-interrupted...eye to eye...end of the day...15 minutes of listening! Even if it feels like the 15 longest minutes of your life...and maybe you have a struggle with connecting to your wife in that day...you will quickly learn that it is the greatest investment of 15 minutes that you can make every day...besides your time with God...

Your wife just wants to be heard and understood and during a hard time emotionally she just wants to be held and loved! It is as simple as that. We men want to try and solve some Algebra Equation every time but sometimes it's just simple addition....don't overthink it and just let it be. Most of the time, your wife knows what she needs to do, she just wants to talk it out!

3. Know what battles to fight and when to fight them

There are some things that are just not worth fighting about and there are some things that are. Learning to live together with your wife will take adjustments on many different levels, there will have to be compromises, and most of the time we will have to..and very well should..take the sacrificial end of that equation. When it comes down to it, little things are not worth bringing up...So what she wants to park her car on the side of the driveway or garage that you normally parked...or she wants to paint the room a certain color...or she wants to fold the towels a certain way and that irritates you. You have to remember that there is a difference in "wrong" and "preference". Knowing the difference will help you in knowing what battles to fight. If it's a personal preference thing and it is not a big item on your list of preferences...just let it go. It's not that important and in the long run it is to your advantage to make her feel as comfortable at home as she can...she will be better focused and free to help you with the vision that you have for the family! On the other hand..when it comes to the culture of the family...the integrity of the family...or the level of respect and offensive words...some battles...you MUST fight. And not really fight...as in against one another...but fight with one another to make your family culture the best that it can be!

When it comes to big deal situations and being open with our wife...things have to be expressed and you can not repress what has offended you and expect to have a good marriage. The question now becomes when and how are you going to approach the confrontation. Approaching your wife in the middle of her working, cooking, at the end of the day tiredness, or in the heat of a moment of irritation is NEVER going to be a successful approach! You have to Pray first, Plan to have a good conversation in a non-distracting environment, Pray together, and know what is an assumption and what are facts in a certain situation. Never point fingers without trying to understand the why and the surrounding elements of a situation. Embrace your wife at all times and know how to bring resolution with a future plan for your relationship and family!

4. Learn how to ride the waves

Learning how to interact with your wife is much like learning to surf the waves at the beach! It is evident that women are emotionally connected on a level that we may not understand...She has deep oceans in her heart that have to be explored with great patience and understanding. When it comes to a surfer...he knows that it will be impossible to try and manage the waves because that would be trying to stop the beauty of nature...instead, a surfer learns the ebbs and flows of the waves and knows how to understand the current (to a certain degree).

All women (and even men in some degree) go through cycles every month and year. These cycles must be respected and embraced and I am not just referring to a woman's period...I am talking about her nature. This is the beauty that is a woman! She will give you the greatest high and rush of excitement and then she will give you the deep, most intimate parts of her heart...if you can learn the waves. If you don't understand the waves and when it's safe to go in the water then you can end up with collateral damage! LOL. But if you are patient, you learn to listen and observe, you are understanding...and you are willing to work with time that brings experience...you can truly know the greatness that is the WOMAN!

5. Learn the power of cultivation & study the art of the "Tipping Point"

Every good business person knows that investments take time to bring a good return. Relationships hold the same facts true! You can't invest in your relationship for 1 day and expect to have a millionaire's return! Also, some of you husbands need to diversify your investments that you make into your wife! What do I mean? Change it up! Invest in her in a way that she may not expect it. Just because you take out the trash every week doesn't mean that you have made adequate investments. Sure those things are a part of it too, but good investments take good research...trust...and bold initiation! Learn what your wife enjoys and invest in those areas... In the end...the bigger the investment the bigger the return. Be patient and consistent and you will see great rewards in your relationship! A woman is a sophisticated creature that God skillfully and masterfully handcrafted....it's gonna take some good studying and observing in order to remotely understand her greatness!

What I have learned, is that a woman is a natural receiver! God designed her to be an incubator, a prophetess by nature, and a helper. That means that she has the potential within her to manifest vision that is given to her...she multiplies all of what is given to her...and she will return to you in her speech what you have given to her (watch your words that you pour into her). She is a garden of potentiality, and we as husbands are built by God as natural givers...It's interesting to me that in John 15:1 Jesus said that "...My Father is the Gardner". That word "Gardner" is also translated "husband-man". We as husbands are called to CULTIVATE what is in the Garden! If we give the right seed, the care, and the protection...then our wife will yield a beautiful display from Heaven! The First key is watching your words and keep all negativity and harsh language silenced...she will incubate them and they will multiply back to you in some form. Next is making sure that you initiate good encouragement, bible study, and prayer! Finally CAST VISION! Where are you headed each year of your life? What are your goals! Give the Vision and she will be better equipped to HELP YOU!

I know that marriage is a journey...one that you don't give up on, and I know that I have much more to learn but this is what I know so far! Comment and let me know your thoughts and some of the things that you have learned in your marriage!

-Ryan Cole

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Guaranteed Success!

Success is not an accident. In fact, it’s predictable. That is because of the love of Jesus. Now if your not a Christian...don't count this blog out quite yet...There's some really good info here for you, no matter if your a business owner, a minister, or just a person looking for the meaning of their life...

Romans 8:35-39

35Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36Just as it is written, “FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG; WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED.” 37But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.

If we look at failure we will discover that it too is predictable! That is because Jesus said in John 15  "outside of me you can do nothing!"

In Christ there is no partial success, there is only success, and in the same way…outside of Christ, there is no partial failure…there is only failure.

There is a guaranteed victory to those who are in Christ Jesus. This is great news! At the same time though, there are so many Christians that are not succeeding in their lives and many of us have felt at times like complete failures. Why is this and how can we succeed in life the way God designed us to? 

God loves success and he needs you to succeed. This is because success is very important to every creator or manufacturer. That’s why companies will put a guarantee on the box of their product or why dealers will put a warranty on a car. The reputation of the creator is on the line…God’s design for all of creation is dependent on the success of the church of Jesus Christ. 

I want to remind you that Jesus Christ is your guarantee of victory…he is the guarantee that you will be successful. That is because Jesus Christ is the pathway to purpose. Before Jesus Christ we were wandering around in the dark; disconnected from God’s original intent…but He brought us the gospel of the Kingdom and now we have access again to the Father and his original plan!

So why should we focus on success and what exactly is success? This blog is not 10 keys to making a million dollars or getting that dream home. I’m not even going to give you principles to create a big business or ministry. Through this blog, I am called to give you the tools to help you unlock your purpose! This is success, nothing more and nothing less.

Success is defined, from a Kingdom perspective, as the fulfillment of purpose.

If you're not making an impact and leaving a legacy then it doesn’t matter how much money you have, how many people you reach, or how many followers you have on Twitter…it means nothing if you aren’t solving a problem, contributing to the advancement of God’s plan for humanity, and learning the art of agape love.

Here’s the kicker…I don’t believe that God hands out Silver Metals. There is not even a bronze medal. God will only hand out Gold Metals. That means that we are not in competition with anyone else. If success is attached to an individual’s purpose then my success is not predicated on your success. Just because you succeed does not mean that I have to be less successful because our purpose is uniquely different. In fact, I can rejoice in your success because I know that we are successful because of the same influencing power of Christ. In Christ, we have been given the keys to success.  Are you a gold medalist?  

By defining the term success correctly, we remove the spirit of competition from the success equation. In doing this, we are forced to look INWARD and UPWARD for fulfillment instead of OUTWARD.

That means that you are free from the horrible games of comparisons! I’m free to be completely me and do what God has called me to do without the fear of trying to measure up to the accomplishments of another person! It’s not about what you have done…it’s about what God has placed inside of me to do!

Sure, we lean on each other and continue the works of those that have gone before us…but in the end, if I’m supposed to impact the lives of 1000 people I must focus on that mission and not the fact that you reached 1 million. If I try to reach outside of God and myself for my purpose, then I will either become bankrupt of the resources that I need to fulfill my purpose, or I will be wasteful with my resources.

In other words, if God has equipped me for a certain set of responsibilities, then to reach outside of that would be to move beyond the grace that I have been given to fulfill my purpose. If I’m trying to compete with you to reach a million people but only have the grace for a thousand then I am doing those thousand an injustice and I become ineffective and unsuccessful. This is just an example…

Along those same lines…if I compare my 1000 to your 15 people reached then I will consider myself pretty successful…and end up wasting away all that I could have done with my life.

Your Life’s Success is found in the fulfillment of purpose!

This success is guaranteed by leaning into the unction’s of the Holy Spirit instead of the urges of your flesh.

The Holy Spirit gives us guidance within the measure of our calling. If we begin to council with the urges of our flesh then we are settling for less than God’s best for our lives. We miss opportunities for impact, we live selfishly, and we become unhealthy and diminish our own quality of life.

The reason that we are not successful even as Christians is because of our “World Views” and “Paradigms” that prohibit us from perceiving our life’s calling correctly…

 This thought is going to continue in my next blog and I’m going to be talking about how to change the way that you process information and how to discover your purpose but FIRST I want to hear your thoughts in the comments below!!

Do you feel like you’re as successful as you could be? Do you have a problem with comparing yourself with others?

Guaranteed Victory

As believers, we understand that the death of Jesus was the price He paid so that we can live victoriously. This statement is not just an abstract idea that we think about once a year. This truth; that through His death and resurrection we ALREADY have been given victory over every trial and crisis in life...over sin and death, means that how we approach every day should always be from the offensive position instead of a defensive position.

I wrote about this in my book Constructing Paradise in the chapters on spiritual warfare. For most people, the idea of spiritual warfare looks a bloody battle against the devil. The truth is that spiritual warfare is not about fighting a battle or striving to win a war. Jesus already did that for us.

We are already more than conquerors through the finished work of Jesus Christ. The grace that Jesus Christ gave us is the victory over a war that we did not and never will have to fight. So stop squaring up with the Devil as if he isn't already defeated. Take your place of DOMINION and call those evil forces back into alignment. When we choose to position ourselves in “warfare” with the Devil we reveal our ignorance and we undermine what Jesus Christ has already done for us. When we operate defensively, we are stating that the work of Jesus Christ was not enough. Believe now the truth that, Satan has been defeated. With this truth in mind, the question arises as to what type of warfare should we engage in.

Well, the victory that Jesus afforded to us, gives us the confidence to step into territory that was once ruled by the enemy, to enforce the culture of the Kingdom of Heaven. We are in the army of God but serve more so as occupational troops. This is a term that I use to describe prayer as our means of pushing back the enemy in our lives. This is a victorious position. We are not fighting to win, we are fighting to occupy. We wear the victory of Jesus as our armor and we push onward to possess what God has given to us already. The earth is ours to rule, this is evident in the book of Genesis. However, sin was a barrier that kept us from accessing our true potential and in being able to live in the realm of Dominion. Jesus solved the problem of sin!

Ephesians 6 teaches us about the Armor of God. The interesting thing is that the armor is given to us so we can stand against an enemy who is already defeated. This is shown throughout ancient history, as one kingdom would confront and defeat the armed forces of another Kingdom in order to possess new land. Thereafter, that king or ruler would send in troops, not to continued fighting, but to fully occupy that land and introduce those citizens of a new culture. This is exactly our position in Christ. The challenges we face every day are in occupying and bringing the culture of heaven into a world that has been ruled by the forces of darkness. I talk more in-depth about this in my book but one part of the armor that I want to highlight here is the armored shoes on our feet:

Our feet are covered with the gospel of peace (Ephesians 6:15.) The Greek word here for peace is eirēnē, which can be defined as “the exemption from the rage and havoc of war”. The Gospel of the Kingdom is considered good news because it is a proclamation of victory. Jesus guaranteed victory in every confrontation. Warfare is something that every believer engages in, in their mind. Overcoming lies, negativity, fear, and misunderstanding about our identity is the first step in living in the victory that Christ has given us. From there, our lifestyles and our position in society gives us the ability to rule over the culture of this world and introduce the ways of God to a world, ignorant of God’s power and wisdom.

Remember today, that you have guaranteed victory in Christ Jesus!

Check out more on this in my book Constructing Paradise: Click Here

The Struggle is Real

Finding Purpose in the Midst of Struggle

Everyone struggles. Some struggles are harder than others and sometimes we wonder why we have certain struggles. We know too, that everyone’s struggles are not the same...but we can all relate to the fact that the struggle is real…

The struggle was all too real for a man named JACOB in the bible. In fact, his name meant “heel grabber” because he was a twin that was born second, and he came out with his hand grasping his brother’s foot.

Genesis 25:20-28 (NKJV)

20 Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah as wife, the daughter of Bethuel the Syrian of Padan Aram, the sister of Laban the Syrian. 21 Now Isaac pleaded with the Lord for his wife, because she was barren; and the Lord granted his plea, and Rebekah his wife conceived. 22 But the children struggled together within her; and she said, “If all is well, why am I like this?” So she went to inquire of the Lord. 23 And the Lord said to her:

 “Two nations are in your womb,
Two peoples shall be separated from your body;
One people shall be stronger than the other,
And the older shall serve the younger.”

 24 So when her days were fulfilled for her to give birth, indeed there were twins in her womb. 25 And the first came out red. He was like a hairy garment all over; so they called his name Esau.[a] 26 Afterward his brother came out, and his hand took hold of Esau’s heel; so his name was called Jacob.[b]

From birth, Jacob had this innate desire to "get ahead". And he would struggle with this internal desire for the rest of his life… to try and be “good enough” for what God had called him for.  

…Isaac was sixty years old when she bore them.27 So the boys grew. And Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field; but Jacob was a mild man, dwelling in tents. 28 And Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

You see…Jacob was not the strongest one. He was not the man that you would have expected. He was what you would call “a mama’s boy”. And because of this, He carried this inferiority complexity with him. I'm sure he thought to himself..."I must do whatever I have to, to be good enough for a blessing." To the point where he tricked his brother Esau out of his birthright by trading him a bowl of beans when he was exhausted from hunting…

Over the years, tension and the sibling rivalry grew and yet Jacob was not satisfied with birthright alone…yes he got ahead for a moment...but he still was not content. He wasn't satisfied because he still didn't understand his PURPOSE!

Finally, Jacob's father was getting old and was going blind…the day would come soon that he would die and Jacob knew that even though he had the birthright…he was still not his Dad’s favorite…

Genesis 27:1-29

1 Now it came to pass, when Isaac was old and his eyes were so dim that he could not see, that he called Esau his older son and said to him, “My son." And he answered him, "Here I am." 2 Then he said, "Behold now I am old. I not know the day of my death. 3 Now therefore, please take your weapons, your quiver and your bow, and go out to the field and hunt game for me....that my soul may bless you before I die. 5. Now Rebekah was listening...

So Rebekah came up with a plan…She remembered the prophecy that was spoken to her and she knew her son was chosen…she had to take measures into her own hands right?

So she made a meal. She took wool and put it on Jacob’s arms so that when Isaac would touch him he would be deceived. She had Jacob to put on Esau’s best clothes and she sent him in for the blessing.

Isn’t it amazing how when God gives us a prophetic word that we always end up trying to make things happen on our own? We formulate an idea of how God should work and even if we have to lie…we will do whatever we have to make it happen…so we think. The problem is that God does not need us to rush his hand. The prophetic word may not be how we perceive it to be...so we must be patient with the process.

When we try to rush the hand of God we will only end up frustrated!!

You see this only added to Jacob’s complex…Can you imagine the statement it made to him...that his mom, virtually wanted him to be someone else to be good enough...

“So I have to pretend to be like somebody else to be good enough…okay, I can do that. I just wear this certain outfit…and I’ll talk like this…and I’ll do whatever it takes to be the person that everyone else wants me to be…then I’ll be good enough…"

The Scripture goes on to show this whole ordeal. Jacob received the Father's blessing alright...but was it enough?

You see, they tried to orchestrate the prophetic word, but there is something on the inside of you that cannot be extracted by the blessing or affirmation of a man, it can only come out in the presence of God. It won’t come out through any effort of you trying to be good enough…it can only come out in the presence of your creator!

The word of God didn’t say you have to be anybody else to fulfill God’s plan for you…you have to be you!!! And God can’t bless you who you pretend to be…

There is a struggle beyond the striving to be good enough where you realize that the real struggle is not outward at all…but inward.

All while you keep trying different things to please a man... God is calling your name, pursuing you...asking you to come close and find out the real meaning of the word that was spoken over your life!

Will you stop the striving and hear the voice of God today?

He wants to bring clarity to your struggle…he wants to show you the purpose in your pain…in your rejection…in your hurts...

 We see that Jacob gets exactly what he was after…but was it enough? When Esau hears of what they had done…he is bitter because his blessing was given away to Jacob and he vows to kill Jacob…

 Mark 8:36 (NKJV)

36 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?

Is it really worth it…what you’re doing to get that guy’s attention? Is it worth it…who you’re becoming to get that job…or make enough money? Are you selling your soul to the propaganda the word is feeding you? Or that religion is feeding you?

You see, we can even be in church and still struggling! We can be so obsessed about the house of God that we lose sight of the God of the house of God...And that's the place that Jacob ended up at. As he was running from his brother, Jacob has an encounter with God...

Genesis 28:11-19

11 So he came to a certain place and stayed there all night because the sun had set... 12 Then he dreamed, and behold, a ladder was set up on the earth, and its top reached to heaven, and there the angels of God were ascending and descending on it.

13 And behold, the Lord stood above it and said: “I am the Lord God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac; the land on which you lie I will give to you and your descendants. 14 Also your descendants shall be as the dust of the earth; you shall spread abroad to the west and the east, to the north and the south; and in you and in your seed all the families of the earth shall be blessed. 15 Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you.”

16 Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.” 17 And he was afraid and said, “HOW AWESOME IS THIS PLACE" This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven!”

18 Then Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put at his head, set it up as a pillar, and poured oil on top of it. 19 And he called the name of that place Bethel;[a] but the name of that city had been Luz previously.

Once again…Jacob struggled with understanding what God was really trying to do in him…because even though God had given him this great vision…it would still be years before he really knew what God was wanting from him.

 So he went and worked 14 years for his Uncle for the affection of Rachel and was tricked into having Leah as a wife too…He thought that running from his issues would solve them...but he ran from his own sibling feud right into another one...between the two women that would be his wives.

Here's the thing...you may run from that problem, but if you don't deal with the internal struggle that is really going on....you may have a new job, or move to a new city, or make new friends...but the same issues are gonna pop up. Same issues different people.

Jacob struggled to find his place in a foreign land and eventually angered his father-in-law until he had to run…again…back to his brother.

Isn’t it funny how God…no matter how much you run…will always bring you back around to the same place until you deal with the real issue at hand?

Then it happened…As his life seemingly came full circle back aground to the struggle with his brother that started in his mother’s womb…he waited there…the night before he was to meet is brother and God came to wrestle with him…

 Genesis 32:24-30

Then Jacob was left alone, and a Man (an angel which some scholars say was actually the pre-incarnate version of Jesus) wrestled with him until the breaking of day. 25 Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob’s hip was out of joint as He wrestled with him. 26 And He said, “Let Me go, for the day breaks.” But he said, “I will not let You go unless You bless me!”27 So He said to him, “What is your name?” He said, “Jacob.”

Listen…Your purpose is not to get the affirmation of man…but to please God. Your external struggles are only an indicator of the internal struggle that is going on inside of you. You have been wrestling with your purpose and your search for your identity has led you to dead end after dead end…but in the presence of God…something about you is going to change…you’re going to walk out of here having been touched by God…and just like Jacob walked away with a limp…you are going to walk out of the presence of God and everyone is going to know that something has happened to you….

28 And He said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel;[b] for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.”

The name Israel means the one who struggles with God…but even more than that it means that God rules. It means that he wrestled with the purpose of God and in the end…God got him right where he wanted him…and

…THERE GOD BLESSED HIM

Some of you have been in a fight…you've been struggling and you can’t seem to figure out why. You know that God has a purpose for you but somewhere along the way you have gotten caught up in trying to be somebody else…to please God.

God loves and wants the REAL you. The struggle is Real alright…because we are all in a struggle with trying to accept our REAL selves… and all it takes is pursuing God.

Not religion…because we can get caught up in church too and lose sight of the God that we are serving…

Even Jacob in Genesis 35 went back to Bethel and demolished foreign Gods and literally scratched off Bethel and called the place "El Bethel" meaning the God of the house of God…because no longer would he just be obsessed about the house of God…he was obsessed with the God of the House of God!!

Just because you struggle doesn’t mean that God can’t use you! In fact, God will use your struggle sometimes to get your attention!

Have you become so distracted that you can’t see the trees because of the forest? Have you tried to make God’s will happen on your own? Have you stopped to ask him where you should be? Have you stopped asking long enough to listen to his response?

Jesus said…if you lose your life you will find it!

Matthew 16:24-25

24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. 25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

Maybe you're like Jacob...and the struggles that you are facing are difficult. What if those external struggles are only an indicator of an issue of your soul? What if you said yes to the calling and pursued God? How would things be different?

I'm not saying that struggles won't come....but will you be in a better place in your soul to handle them and respond to them well?

Top Secret Weapons of the Enemy

The Top 5 Secret Weapons of the Enemy (And how to Disarm them)

The greatest battlefield that you will ever fight on is the battlefield of your mind. In fact, spiritual warfare is the council of the human mind, with any other spirit other than the Spirit of God. That means that the power that the enemy has is the power of suggestion, accusation, and lies. The enemy is sneaky in his approach because his power is limited, therefore he comes in ways that we would not expect. Here are the 5 secret weapons of the enemy that I have exposed in my own life and I pray will help you overcome the temptations of the enemy!

5. The enemy always targets you when you are physically tired.

I've learned that we are most vulnerable to attack when we are exhausted or when we are first coming out of sleep. Whenever you are tired, you are open to suggestions and temptations from the enemy because your defense mechanisms are not at their peak. The enemy will normally target you mostly at the beginning of your day or at the very end as you are getting ready to sleep.

Your Strategy:

Stay away from technology when you first wake up. Keep your phone away from your bed, when your alarm goes off (from across the room) make it a point to get up and begin your day with prayer, breakfast, and if possible a simple physical exercise. This way, you fortify your mind before the day begins. How you start your day is very important to the trajectory of the rest of your day.

If you allow your mind to wonder as you wake, you give the enemy room to start suggesting alternative pathways other than what you had intended that day. Instead of allowing your thoughts to wonder, you should direct your thoughts intentionally.

When you check Facebook or any other social media platform right when you wake up, you are at the mercy of whether of your select group of friends. If they are projecting negativity that day, then you are empowering that energy to work in your day, simply by reading it. Trust me, it's not a risk you should take...maybe there will be encouragement on there...but maybe there will be drama. Also, you don't wanna start your day checking the latest headlines or trending stories. When you do this, you are giving away your personal power to the status of our economy or negative situations going on in the world.

Your Strategy:

REST! Even God had to rest on the 7th day after creation! What makes us think that we are any different than God? Whenever you have reached a low place...where you have given out and you are seemingly exhausted..surround yourself with people who will keep you safe and accountable! Sleep, yes! But also, stay close to friends and family that you trust can help you make some good decisions and will pour into you until you are fully rested up! Listen to your body when it tells you to slow down for a moment!

4. The enemy uses offense and unforgiveness to keep you trapped in a place where he has free reign over your life.

Every single day there is an opportunity for you to be offended. You can't always help what happens to you but you are ALWAYS in control of how you respond. The bait that is an offense can quickly take hold of you, and will sabotage not only the rest of your day, but if you allow that offense to take root it can destroy your life. Unforgiveness puts a blockage in your life from receiving the forgiveness of God through Jesus Christ.  As we all are sinners in need of forgiveness, God desires that we extend the same grace that he has given to us to those who have offended us.

Matthew 6:15 "But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

Your Strategy:

When it comes to a daily offense, the best thing you can do is immediately forgive, pray, and bless them. Knowing that harboring an offense in your heart will keep you from God's best is motivation to shake off the little offenses that may come every day.

I have been offended on many levels in my life, and before I knew the importance of setting yourself free by forgiving others, I would harbor the offense inside. It would eat away at me and eventually it would explode out of me. It wasn't until I identified my areas of hurt, verbally confessed forgiveness, and blessed those that hurt me, did I truly experience the fullness of God’s best for me! Just a few weeks ago, my wife's car was stolen from her job. I knew that this was an opportunity to be offended, and I was. I stood in the parking lot of a restaurant with my wife and we grabbed hands and prayed for them. We forgave whoever had stolen the car and blessed them. I knew that a stolen car was not worth losing my peace over. What the enemy offers is never a measure of a comparison to what God has given us so freely! When the enemy entices me to be offended my answer is always NO DEAL!

3. The enemy uses what may seem harmless to "portal" you to a place of harm.

An appropriate definition for DECEPTION is "Truth with a little lie mixed in". The enemy is good at taking what seems harmless and lacing it with an evil underlying factor. We have to be very careful how we surf the web and click links after links after links. Especially from a man's perspective, it is easy to be distracted once you have been lured in by seemingly trusted links and images...even from friends that you know on Facebook. The internet is a powerful place for good but at the same time, the internet can be a slippery slope for so many people that are addicted to internet pornography, or online gambling, or simply being wrapped up in social media to the point that you are not living your own life effectively.

Music and movies are other portals that can cause you to let your guard down and allow evil into your thoughts and life. Just because a song or movie seems safe doesn't mean that it has the right message behind it. 

Your Strategy:

Follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit! When you feel that check in your spirit, do not ignore it! Immediately change the channel or shut the phone down. It may not be that show, or song, or image that is harmful...but it might be a portal to a place where the enemy can trap your mind.

2. The enemy will use your own words against you.

Your words are a powerful creative source of ...remember that all of heaven is waiting to back up your words and declarations that are positive and in alignment with the will of God. At the same time, all of the evil forces of darkness is waiting to back up all of your negative and self-defeating words. The enemy may have the gun but you are the one that gives him the ammunition. Without ammunition, a gun is useless. Whatever you put out into the atmosphere is a creative force that causes a whirlwind to swing back around and hit you in the face!

Hosea 8:7 "They sow the wind and reap the whirlwind."

Your Strategy:

Ask the Holy Spirit to make you aware of the negative and self-defeating patterns of language that you have used. Whenever you feel negative or you have just said something you should not have...immediately release a blessing and cancel the evil words that you have released! Making yourself do this...will keep you aware of how often you actually use horrible speech...The more you are aware...the more you will be more selective with your declarations.

Many people have unanswered prayers, not because they prayed wrong...but because their daily language practices have canceled out all of the declarations they have made in prayer! We must OVERCOME EVIL WITH GOOD!

1. The enemy loves when you make bad decisions and give him the credit.

What you glorify you draw to you. Don't blame your bad decisions on the enemy. Take ownership of your own decisions and hey...if you don't like where your decisions brought you then MAKE ANOTHER DECISION. Don't waste a second of time and energy on blaming other people or the enemy for consequences from decisions you have made! Don't be one of those people that said, "The Devil made me do it..." wow...

Your Strategy:

Take all of your energy and give God the praise. Instead of focusing on any negative situation, you may be facing...choose instead to think of at least one thing that you can be thankful for and repeating that over and over in your mind. One Moment of Praise and Thankfulness will draw good things toward you! Like a Magnet...what you praise you will see more of!

The concept of "Unanswered Prayers" is a lie

Are you waiting for an answers that have already come? 

Have you given up on ever getting the answers to some of the prayers that you have prayed? If so, you are like the millions of people around the world who have "unanswered prayers". I used the quotes around this phrase for a reason. That's because there is not really such a thing as unanswered prayers...what we call unanswered prayers should really be called "ignored responses". 

Matthew 6:8 "...your Father knows what you need before you ask him."

Is. 65:24 “It shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer;
And while they are still speaking, I will hear."
 

Maybe you feel like that you have unanswered prayers because God has given you answers that you don't want and in turn you've pushed his answers aside.

My mentor always told me that our disappointment in the answers to prayer should not cause us question God...but to reevaluate the question itself that we have asked. 

If you don't like the answer...change the question. It's as simple as that. These scriptures above can make you wonder why we should even pray at all if he has #1 already answered and #2 already knew what we needed before we prayed anyways.

It's the whole "Can I" questions verses the "May I" questions. If you remember in school, if you were to ask the teacher, "can I use the bathroom?" She would probably return the question to you...until you said, "May I use the bathroom?". 

If you read the bible more often, you would realize that the the answer to your "can I" questions have already been answered! 

Healing is yours...freedom is yours...purpose is yours. God has a plan for you. You have been destined for greatness. These are things you don't have to ask (can I?) for. 

What we should be asking is for the "May I". These are the type of questions we should be asking and listening for a different kind of response response: 

God...
It it your right timing for _______? 
What do you want me to do to prepare myself in the waiting? 
What is the strategy for my health? 

God will always give you responses that require an action from you! This is why it's important that we are asking the right questions! 

I challenge you in your prayer time this week...to change your questions that you are asking. Dare to ask the dangerous questions that will require more of a response from you. God has given us everything that week to succeed, we just have to tap into the potential that he has already given us! 

In my own time I was reading the story of a man who was asking for healing from Jesus. 

Luke 5:12
"While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” And immediately the leprosy left him."

The truth is that God is willing...but are you? Are you prepared for the answer that God has already give you to some of your questions? Are you prepared to act with obedience when he gives you strategy to what you are asking for?  

How Embracing My Limitations Actually Set Me Free

Here's the Deal...Freedom is relative. And by that, I mean that the word freedom is hard to define because its definition is based on the circumstances. It is a term that has us all striving toward a place called "free". But we all end up frustrated because the place that we call freedom is, in most cases...bondage.  Freedom is so hard to define that when you look up its definition there are 7 definitions of the word (to start with) and each definition can be misunderstood depending on the circumstances.

What is it that you think of when you hear the word Freedom?

A Prisoner being set free from a jail cell?… or maybe you picture the American Flag and the liberties that we have been given in this country. Some of you are thinking of that moment when you moved out of your parent’s house…or maybe some of you are still living there waiting for your day of freedom…

Maybe you're struggling with addiction and your thought of freedom is being loosed from your dependency on a substance or a relationship. Others of you think of slaves being let go from their masters while some of you imagine an abusive relationship that you want to be rescued from.

Even Jesus understood that there was some confusion when it came to the term Freedom..and we quote the famous scripture in John 8:36 "Whom the Son sets free is free indeed" without really understanding the context of what he was saying. I'll break that down here further on down...

One great example that I can take from the scripture of most of our perception of freedom is from the story of the Prodigal Son. Luke 15:11-32

The Prodigal Son's Perspective

Even though the prodigal son was very wealthy and taken care of, he saw his current state as bondage. His idea of freedom was to get what he thought "was owed to him" and be allowed to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Sure, this is one idea of freedom...

This idea quickly changed once he squandered all of his money and he was eating slop with the pigs. From this new vantage point, FREEDOM was being able to go back to his Father's house as a servant and eat from the crumbs off of the table...Funny how life can change so quickly right?

This is the bait of sin...The enticement of sin is to be convinced that to have no limitations is freedom... until the horrible bitter truth comes down on you and you realize that to live life without moral restraint is in fact slavery to the bondage of your flesh. Don't take the bait that the enemy offers...

Freedom is not a term that suggests having no limitations but, in fact, it is the DESCRIPTION of a certain set of limitations. In essence…Freedom is knowing how to embrace the right limitations.

Now we can look at the scriptures for the right perspective when it says...

1Corinthians 3:16-17 NIV
"16 But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

Unless you have embraced God as "Lord" there can be no true freedom. If he is not the one guiding the dimension of your life then you remain captive to the "supposed" liberties of your flesh.

Romans 6:15-23 “When you were slaves…. you were also free…”

So it remains to be true, that everyone is free on some level.

I could ask you whether a person behind a jail cell was free, and your first response would be no...but you are only taking into consideration the physical restraints. In fact, this man is free, within the confines of that jail cell. And I know millionaires that are miserable and we hear of many rich people who commit suicide every year while there are men behind physical bars that are freer in their minds than anyone out here in the real world.

The question is not whether you are free or not…the question is which side of freedom are you on?

We have been formulated to believe that the word “limits” is a bad, bad word. Especially in America, where we fought and continue to fight for our independence, the idea of a “limit” has become evil. At the same rate, this ideology has brought up a generation that bucks up against any form of authority because of their sense of entitlement.

We must understand that there is a difference between independence and freedom. They are not synonyms or the same meaning in 2 words. To declare independence is to declare “self-government”, “self-rule” “a separation and a personal sovereignty”.

On the other hand, freedom is to declare DEPENDENCE to a certain set of limitations.  It is liberation from slavery. It’s having the full ability of choice or action. 

Since we are living in the Kingdom of Heaven, as citizens, we are fully dependent on that Kingdom because we are submitted to a sovereign and great Ruler. We are no longer slaves to sin, but we choose to take on the heart of a servant. Although we are in essence "free"…it is our very freedom that keeps us bound to the heart of God.

The idea of independence is in determining your own limitations. The idea of freedom in the Kingdom is to embrace the limitations that God has given you for each season of your life.

We can either think of these limitations that God gives us as a wall that keeps us out of something or a boundary that keeps us safe and protected within something.

Here are some examples:

1.     If you don’t embrace the boundaries as a single person then it will be harder for you to experience freedom in marriage. Why? Because with marriage comes a whole new set of limitations that you can either fight against or embrace. If you embrace the God-given limitations you will experience his freedom. Limitation #1 Staying away from sex before you are married is not a restriction...but freedom. If you've ever been married and had to deal with the issues of your past you would understand this.

Paul encouraged those that were single to remain single in 1 Corinthians 7:8 because of the "freedom" that a single person has to serve God first while a married man or woman must be concerned about their spouse. There is freedom in each season if the limitations of each season are embraced.

2.     If you don’t embrace the limitations of a budget on a lower level, how can you manage the limitations of a budget on a greater level? Don’t think that millionaires don’t live on a budget. It’s just a greater budget with a greater level of responsibility. You may think that having a lot of money is your key to freedom but what if embracing great self-discipline is where you will find freedom?

3.     A physical issue may limit you right now in your body. I believe in full healing through the blood of Jesus however I do realize that we can be captivated in more bondage in our minds than in our body. Jesus recognized this by forgiving sins before healing...Mark 2:1-12

What you are focusing on right now in your body as a limit may be in fact be an opportunity as well. It may be an opportunity for you to think more creatively or to embrace certain sympathy or compassion toward others. It may be a reminder of the grace of God that is able to see you through the pain.

I think of Nick Vujicic who lives life without his limbs (he has no arms or legs) and writes a book called "Life without Limits". How inspiring! What a great concept to still live in freedom while others would look at your situation and think of it as a restriction! What seemed to be his greatest problem was in fact, his greatest opportunity!

What about the Bible?

Paul had the thorn in his flesh as he talks about in 2 Corinthians 12, not as a punishment…although you can certainly see it like that.  It was not a punishment…it was a limitation. One that kept Paul humble and full of the grace of God.

Titus 2:11 “The grace of God teaches us”

What if Freedom is more a matter of perspective than a matter of physical limitations? God is more concerned about you being free in the spirit of your mind than you being free out here in the natural world. In fact, you can be a millionaire and be locked up in bondage, and in the same way you can be behind bars, serving a life's sentence and be free in your mind, at peace, and living on purpose.

Whom the Son FREES FREE, is REALLY FREE.

Sounds like a whole lot of repeating...but that is how you would accurately read the phrase in John 8:36. Let's look at the big picture.

The bible says that Jesus was talking with Jewish men and he said to them in John 8 "32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

This didn't sit right with these Jewish men. They considered themselves free because they were descendants of Abraham (read the scripture...it's there).

Jesus looked right back at them and said “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. 35 Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. 37 I know that you are Abraham’s descendants."

I looked up the different words for freedom here in the original language and was shocked...The Jewish men and Jesus were talking about freedom but from 2 different angles, using slightly different variations of the word...freedom.

The Jewish men were convinced that they were free because the freedom that they were referring to was in relation to the law of Moses. They said...oh we're already free because we have this set of standards that make us free. We know what freedom is...

Jesus said back to them...your freedom and my freedom are 2 different things. Your freedom is one that you have to strive to attain. How many people are striving to get to a place called "there"...a place of freedom. If I could just get married then I'll be free...if I could make this amount of money, then I'll be free or if I could just follow the 10 commandments then I will free...This is not freedom....this is bondage.

Jesus said if I make you free (from the inside out) then you will be free on the outside and the inside...Because of Jesus, we don't live by striving! We live through Grace by the leading of the Holy Spirit which we now have access to because of Jesus!

We don't do certain things...not because somebody told us not to...We don't do it because the Holy Spirit restrains us. We don't do it because our relationship with Jesus is more important than a momentary pleasure.

Don't get me wrong here...With God, nothing is impossible. I'm not talking about limiting yourself or your possibilities when it comes to accomplishing big things and pursuing a vision. What I am talking about is learning to embrace the GOD GIVEN Limitations on the season that you are in!

Know this...Although every season of our lives presents new God-given limitations to us, we serve a LIMITLESS God. So in the same sense, we must approach each new season, not with our own set of limitations that we would put on ourselves but approaching God to know what is our "matron of rule" in that season.

Once you understand this you will know how to rightfully walk in the AUTHORITY OF CHRIST.

Ephesians 4:7 says "each one of us is given a measure.."

When a runner runs a race there are lines on both sides. These are called “matrons”…it is the same word that we use in “metronome”. Where musicians play to a certain Rhythm.

As my mentor, Dr. Cindy Trimm, says, "For everyone, there is a grace, and a space, and a pace for your race"... Understanding your grace...will cause you to walk in true FREEDOM!

When I learned to embrace the promptings of the Holy Spirit, that's when I experienced true freedom. When I stopped chasing things and pursued purpose, I became more alive than ever before.

Who knew that thinking inside of the box, so to speak, would help me be more creative than I ever was before...striving to get out of the box. What if it's not the box your fighting, but your perspective of the box. So many people say that they are "thinking outside of the box"...however the box is still their frame of reference. Even if they are outside of it. Once you embrace the limitations that God has in each season you stop worrying about the box and start focusing on the purpose that God has for you!

Help spread the word about the true meaning of Freedom by Sharing this blog!!

You Have What It Takes!!!

Everyone has potential but not everyone reaches it!

As we come upon the season where so many people are graduating I have a message for all people that are in transition and that feel the pressure to do something significant with their lives! You can and will accomplish great things as long as you are not "talked out of it"!

Most people spend their lives consumed with what others are saying about them. And many of us have chased after "things" to fill this void that only God can fill! What God puts into motion concerning you cannot be stopped by any outside source, it can only be stopped by your own will. When you say yes to God, nothing will be impossible. It's when there is wrestling with your soul; where you resist the will of God, that you become frustrated. It's not what people say about you that hinders your journey...it's what you are saying about yourself! Remember that you have what it takes to start that business, to launch that ministry, to have that family, or whatever else is in your heart to accomplish!

“Heaven had a conversation about you when you were being conceived...”

Potential is the seed of greatness that God put inside of you before you were even born! Heaven had a conversation about you when you were being conceived and God declared that your future would be GREAT! Sometimes we go through trauma in our lives...but remember that for every seed to fully produce, there has to be some pressure applied! Don't give up because of a season of trials...know that you have what it takes to OVERCOME and achieve great things! 

If we can change perspective on problems we will realize that problems are attached to prosperity! If you can find problems that you have been called and anointed to solve, then you have found your purpose. That means that your "haters" and "enemies" are in fact your proponents! What does that mean? That means that the fact that they are hating on you...is a validation on the very purpose they are speaking against. The fact that an enemy would give you attention points to the greatness in you that they are attacking!

Here's some power principles for you while you are pursuing the fulfillment of purpose!

1. Never run from problems...dare to be a solution maker! If you continue to run from problems you will never know the power that flows through a person that chooses to overcome!

2. There is never a temptation that God has not given a way of escape! That means that there is always a way for escape for you! You can overcome fear, you can overcome lust, you can overcome every distraction that the enemy places in your path to detour you from fulfilling your purpose! All you need is humility to submit to the leadership of the Holy Spirit!

1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)

"13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

3. Every person can discover their purpose through the easy formula...

Follow your Pure Passions to >>Discover your gifts >>>Discover what you are Compassionate about to lead you to >>>Discovering a problem...>>>Pray for a strategy from God...>>>Solve the Problem...DISCOVER YOUR PURPOSE.

You have greatness in you! It's realizing that, believing it, and taking the steps of faith to walk in it that will set you a part from everyone else! Congratulations on receiving a degree...but remember that education continues for a lifetime! Continue to read and allow others to teach you! A degree is nothing with out the boldness to pursue the truth that you have discovered! Be Bold and Be Courageous and you will succeed!

God Bless,

Ryan Cole

Dictionary.com's Word of the Year Speaks to the Struggle Humanity is Facing

Every year Dictionary.com chooses a word that they feel encapsulates the theme of that year, especially for those of us who speak the English language. From the official Dictionary.com website this statement was released in 2015; “In 2015, Dictionary.com saw a number of themes emerge in the words that gained enough traction to be added to the dictionary along with words that trended in user lookups. The most prominent theme across both of these areas was in the expanding and increasingly fluid nature of conversations about gender and sexuality. Additionally, the theme of racial identity led to some of the most notable headlines and new additions to Dictionary.com this year. Encapsulating the most robust fields of language evolution and user interest this year, Dictionary.com’s 2015 Word of the Year is identity.”

As I read this statement it became evident to me that, as a part of the Millennial Generation, the issue of identity that I have been noticing among my peers is far greater than I had ever imagined. The question, “Who am I?” is one that haunts every person from the moment that we become self-aware until the moment that we die. Who am I and why was I created? These questions reverberate within the thoughts of every human being as we search for meaning and purpose in a world seemingly swept away by an epidemic of fame. Fame, from a westernized context, is a shallow promise of validation and fulfillment that can only truly come from our creator. We have pursued these needs even to the deterioration of our bodies and souls yet still find no relief.

We can see that this issue is not limited to this current generation. The scriptures are the place where we as believers can discover our identity in Christ. The truth is that the more we discover who Christ is and what he has done for us, the more we will discover who we are and what we have been assigned to do here in the earth. This is why it is important for us to take note of the eight “I am” statements that Jesus made about himself in the book of John, seven of which were attached to specific metaphors. 

To a Jewish person, for Jesus to declare, “I am” was more than just a declaration of a present state of being; it was a declaration of deity. With the term “Lord” or “Jehovah” being too holy to even be uttered; for someone to use this same context to describe himself was making a bold statement. Jesus was literally pointing to the Old Testament as a mirror and reflection of himself. He was speaking to those confused about purpose and reason of being and he is still speaking to us today with this same message. For those suffering from an identity crisis, whether it be your gender, sexuality, race, physical appearance, or your purpose in general, your cure cannot be found in surgery, make-up, Facebook likes, or sexual gratification. The source of our identity is found secured in these statements that Jesus made about himself.

Out of all of the “I am” statements, the one that I believe centralizes them all is found in John 14:6 which says, “I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” I believe that our identity stems from our source, and our first natural source is our natural father and mother. We discover who we are through understanding who our parents and grandparents were. In that same way, we discover our purpose for life by reconnecting to our Heavenly Father, and the only way to do that is through Jesus Christ. Leon Morris gives a good context for this scripture, denoting that, “In the upper room on the eve of the crucifixion, Jesus spoke of his imminent departure, finishing with “and where I am going you know the way” (14:4)” (Morris 1989) As Jesus speaks to Thomas the disciple, we are given clarity as to why these “I am” statements are important. In essence, we are now because Jesus is. When he said “I am”, he was including us within that purpose.

Leon Morris refers to the writings in John by saying, “He is not saying that Jesus shows the way, but that he is the way. This points us to the significance of his saving death. By dying for sinners he brings them to God.” (Morris 1989) This statement of “I am” revealed the deity of Christ as the Son of God and the only way of reconciliation to the Father. This is evident as the conversation continues with Jesus speaking to the disciples of not only his mission to go to the cross but his authority in fulfilling this assignment because of how interwoven He and the Father were. He said in verses 9-10 saying, “Have I been with you so long, and yet you have not known Me, Philip? He who has seen Me has seen the Father; so how can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father in Me? The words that I speak to you I do not speak on My own authority, but the Father who dwells in Me does the works.”

To the disciples sitting there listening to these words, they were far more controversial than you and I reading them thousands of years later. These men had been steeped in a Jewish culture that says that the way is found in abiding by the law as defined by Torah, the truth is the law written in the Torah, and the only way to experience life is through the law. Steven P. Wickstrom clarifies this thought by breaking each one of these statements down from an Old Testament perspective. Highlighting on the first, he says, “Jesus’ first statement was I am the way. To the Old Testament Jew, the way was the Torah or the Old Testament. The only way to God was through the law. Psalms 119:1 says, “Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the LAW of the LORD.” Psalms 32:8 says, “I will instruct you and show you the way to go; with My eye on you, I will give counsel.” They were also very familiar with Exodus 18:20 ”And you shall teach them the statutes and the laws, and show them the way in which they must walk and the work they must do.” In the Jewish mindset, that way was the law and the prophets. In Jewish tradition, the way to find the path to God was to study the Torah.” (Wickstrom 2004-2015) This was a change in their paradigms to know that in Christ the law was being fulfilled! Not only was he making a declaration of deity, but Jesus was also eradicating the cycle of death that was attached to striving that each person was doing to fulfill the law.

What does this powerful statement mean for you and I who are living in a world inundated with gender confusion and stereotypes, racial injustices, and the hamster wheel pursuit of fame and admiration? It means everything! We don’t have to stay on the path of destruction. We don’t have to be confused about who we are. We are not abandoned and purposeless. We are children of the most high God, redeemed through the blood of Jesus and given freedom from sin through his sacrifice on the cross. As Jesus declared His identity our identity was secured. We are fearfully and wonderfully created in the image of God and are no longer bound to sin as long as we accept this free gift of salvation. Jesus declared his deity through these statements and he also made a big statement about the Old Testament. The same God that was revealed in the Torah is the same God that came to the earth in the flesh as a man named Jesus. The way that we have been searching for is only found in Him. As we pursue Christ and discover more about who he is, the more we will see the identity confusion disappear. This is the heart that I have for my generation and my assignment. To point them to a creator who is not confused about His love for us. We are secured because Jesus is the Christ, great, “I am”.  

The Future Church- "Top 10 Characteristics"

From my perspective as a 26-year-old pastor...Here's what I believe is going to be the pattern of the church in the years to come!

FYI- This is a continuation of another blog I wrote about Millennials and the church!

Click Here to read that blog first!

As a person who has a strong fascination with culture...i have placed my hand on the pulse of our current "western" culture and through prayer have come to terms with what the church will look like in the near future and how we can succeed in presenting the gospel to the next generation while maintaining the integrity of the scriptures! Here we go...TOP 10!

1. Technology will be embraced on a larger scale and the majority of Millennials will not attend a "Large Gathering" except for a 3-4 times per year at a maximum. By Large I mean more than 1200 people, and that will be the extreme high-end anomalies. Some of you may consider 1200 large but remember that before this point megachurches were being built to hold at least 3-4 thousand people. Even at the larger end of the 1200 people mark, this will only be effective if the feeling of intimacy and community are the center of your focus. In terms of the most commonly effective congregation...I see it being around a 300-400 mark as the norm, yet still be considered a "mega-church" because of technology. As the term "Mega Church" shifts, you will discover that your largest audience will be gathered through the use of technology, using platforms online. Millennials will still gather weekly in a "church" setting...it just may not be in as "large" of a setting. So shift your focus from numbers in the door...to the impact of discipleship!

2. On that note...Educational value in the church will become more important than entertainment value...so make sure that you actually have something to say. In saying this, we are still looking for the "excellence" value and the use of the creative arts! Even with great creativity, you better have some impact in your presentation in terms of educational, transformational, and empowering revelation.

3. Because of the focus on community that we will need to take, we will have to rely on partnerships for large local alliances and impact.

4. Millennials, unlike the former generations, have a great distrust of large institutions because we grew up watching the great scandals of corporations, banks, and churches. If we are going to be a part of a large ministry there better be integrity, transparency, authenticity, and an evident move of the supernatural power of God with the demonstration of the Kingdom.

5. You will see Millennials embrace smaller house-like settings in the sense that they will be discipled through one-on-one mentorship and relationships more than they will be showing up to a classroom in a building. Give a Millennial the information through technology and give them activation and relationship in person! We crave mentorship but we also crave acceptance. We want to know that you are with us even when we fall and that you will lift us up with grace!

6. Okay here is where the prophetic word takes over... There will be a large diving line in the church....between those that have bent the church around the world's culture and those that have maintained the "oil" but have also embraced new methods and technology. In other words, there will become a very distinct difference in the church world. Denominational lines will be blurred and at the same time there will be 2 distinctively different groups of "Christian Movements" arise. Because of this, where we stand on theology will challenged and be One group will focus on Discipleship and Kingdom Theology along with a movement of the Holy Spirit and signs and wonders while the other will be built on the strength and power of man and the embracing of a "melting pot" of spiritual beliefs w/ very blurred lines in doctrine. The latter will put emphasis on individual spiritual discovery in the sense that everyone will be able to embrace a personal truth without solid lines of theology. Both of these sides to Christianity will succeed but the latter will be based on deception. It is also possible that the use of the word "Christian" may be rephrased or redefined because of this. We must as believers recognize which movement represents the actual Church as we mirror the results and effectiveness of the New Testament Church.

7. The next revival and expansion of the Kingdom will occur in the marketplace and in communities. The focus of the Church will shift toward the empowerment of individuals as carriers of the Kingdom of Heaven. You will see more salvation take place outside of the church walls in homes, communities, work fields, etc... We will reach out more for people to be saved where they are...and then become connected to the church building to be disciples.

8. Church Services will become driven by Prayer and Kingdom Teaching. There will be more corporate prayer than ever before and this will birth revival in communities, homes, and businesses.

9. The Social System will be a great place of ministry. As the fabric of what a Biblical "Family Unit" is torn, we must be here with the example of solid family structure and function. The individual Purpose of a Man and Woman will need to be clearly taught and defined as well as displayed through the church. We must be prepared for any and everything to come against us in our pursuit of reflecting Christ and His Church (Husband and Wife). As the transgender and homosexual culture has emerged and is playing a dominant role in the construct of the next generation...we have to be fully equipped with the answers they are looking for. Not religious paraphrasing but answers...through the word of God and be able to approach these issues with great compassion and understanding. Remember, that it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). In saying that we must also have an unwavering stance on what God defines as a marriage and what is the most healthy family construct and we must be able to display it. We won't have a firm ground to stand on if the divorce rate of Christians continues to rise. This next generation is looking for a Show and Tell...not just a Tell, so demonstrate the power that you talk about! This is another reason why ministries that place an emphasis on Mentoring (Fathering and Mothering) will likely succeed more than those that do not.

1 Corinthians 4:20 "For the kingdom of God consists of and is based not on talk but power."

10. Persecution will rise against those that stand on ideas such as purity (abstinence from sex before marriage), biblical marriage (between 1 man and 1 woman), the bible's view on cross-dressing and the transgender lifestyle, and other topics that are diametrically opposed to cultural norms. The interesting thing is that the persecution will be subtle because it will be in the forms of governmental intrusion (which there are ways to get around this but that's for another blog). We as a church must depend on unity, more than ever before if we are going to succeed in our missions here in the United States. As we leverage our corporate influence and power as the church, we will be able to shift culture and impact the next generation effectively!

I will continue to write more of what the Lord shows me along the way...I am excited about the church! WE have never had more potential than we do right now and we must seize the moment!

-Ryan Cole

June 11, 2015

From the heart of a Millennial- "The Church and Why I've stayed..."

With so many ideas going around about why "Millennials" are leaving the church I decided to write a blog on why I've decided to stay....

So many of these blogs and statistics that I am reading have been done from researchers and Pastors who are trying to figure "Millennials" out without sitting where they have sat...There's been some good views and some very wrong views about what our contribution to the global church will be. I'm here to sort through the madness to help bring some clarity.

As a Young Adult myself, I have been heavily involved in church for the last 11 years. I have watched people come and go and I have had to ask myself the questions...Why have I stayed while others have gone? What has been different about my experience that has caused me to rise in leadership while others have forsaken "Church" all together? In the process of studying the journey of both myself and my peers I have also received strategy from the Holy Spirit on the direction and future of the church, as Millennials take center stage in Church Leadership.

As I look at the trajectory of my own journey, I have discovered that what has set me apart from others that have left the church, is in the fact that I have aggressively pursued Mentors. This is something that many people are not as comfortable doing, especially when you face a lot of rejection, bad leadership, hurt, and disappointment. What has kept me, was my ability to filter through the inadequacies of people in order to partake of their treasure. That meant me having a lot of forgiveness toward people and putting my dependency on God instead of man. We have to be able to see past the flaws and failures of man and trust that God can still use them to speak to us regardless of their downfalls.

By the grace of God and through great patience on my part, I came across 2 specific leaders that were Pure in their motives, sacrificial, and did for me what everyone else is now calling..

"Reverse Mentoring"! This process changed my life and is the method I live by to empower others.

Here are some key points that define this process of "Reverse Mentoring":

1. This process requires that the leader be very secure in their own calling as to not allow a spirit of competition to hinder the process of empowerment. Millennials are seeking "room to grow" and "space to create".

2. Millennials want to be able to question your process without the fear of rejection. They don't want to just do what you say without also wanting to know WHY you do what you do. If you believe in the supernatural...they wanna know why and they want to see results. Because of this we all have to evaluate our methods and ask ourselves if what we are doing is "scriptural" or just "traditional". You should allow those that you mentor to ask questions and be able to give them answers, strategies, and demonstration of power. Don't be intimidated by the WHY'S...we are not questioning your authority...we just want to know how you do what you do! In the end...our questions can help you become a greater leader and to be a more effective leader. Listen, many parents will tell you that they have learned more through parenting their kids then they actually taught there kids...be open to learning yourself too!

3. Reverse mentoring requires great transparency! We want to know your story and your struggles. We want to know that you will not judge our future based on our past. We also want to know that you are not ashamed of us and that you will claim us as your own no matter what! We don't want sugar coated and remember that we don't relate to you just because you watch reality TV and use a Kardashian as a sermon illustration or joke...we will relate to you because of your STORY and your AUTHENTICITY!

4. Allow us to challenge your methods by giving us space to experiment with new strategies while keeping the same anointing! Trust that we can hear from God too and embrace the fact that we know how our generation is responding to new technology.

5. Don't just place us in a role that you need filled because of your need. Get to know us, our strengths and gifts, and help us discover the right place for us in the church!

6. Don't falter in your integrity and theology just because a large group of us say so. More than ever, young adults need to hear clear lines of theology and that includes making a stand for holiness and living a life free from sin! BUT REMEMBER! We will respect you and hear you...only if your life reflects the same boundaries that you are proclaiming!

Continuing on...

Statistics show that Millennials are the most educated generation that has ever been...with more degrees than ever before, but with less practical knowledge than ever because they have not been given a space to try it out for themselves...this includes the church. Everyone under the age of 25 in most churches have been placed in a "sub ministry" with ill equipped leaders, and by the time they have graduated college there is no reason for them to stay at your church because they have never really been included in the actual "church". This generation has extended adolescence well past the age of 25 because they have yet to "comprehend" what their place in the world is. They are still living at home because there is not an empowerment mechanism in most cities to launch these Young Adults out of complacency. The infallible truth is that the CHURCH is the only answer and we cannot fail!

Don't try and "relate" to us based on popular culture alone...stimulate our intellect because the truth is that we have a great hunger to learn!

The church is NOT a religious institution to help numb the pain of life and hardship that people face. It's not intended to be a "drug of choice" to help soothe individuals and their lack of effective decision making abilities....THE CHURCH is the Educational Institution of the Kingdom of Heaven!

Our role is to re-educate individuals with the mandate of God! We should be creating a culture that is not a mirror image of the "world system" but is distinctly different. Our goal should be in making disciples and with that comes the empowerment of purpose! The enemy has shaped the culture of this generation through the way that we have educated our young people. We have taught them word recognition but not word COMPREHENSION. Meaning that the majority of people in the workplace have been trained for a task instead of being empowered to THINK for themselves. This is because we have allowed Schools and Media to shape the belief systems of our young people. On top of that..the church has, for the most part, forsaken discipleship. Therefore...

..."we must conclude that a good SHOW and PRESENTATION is not the transformational elements that will equip this generation with challenging theological concepts that cause us to move in faith and too move in the supernatural power of God."

For too long the church has moved tried to move from Information >> to Presentation >> to Revelation >> strait to ACTIVATION. We want young adults to give...to serve...to invite others...and they will FOR A WHILE....but then they will become burnt out very quickly because there is not COMPREHENSION!

Comprehension can be defined as "an active understanding and thoughtful application of revelation..."

The only way to bring Comprehension is through personal relationships! In the end we are not going to come to your church because of good music or presentation....were going to come to your church because we are able to integrate our faith with our real life! That means that there has to be a place where effective relationships and accountability is set established within the church! Sure Large Gatherings are great AND ARE NEEDED! However, Acts 2 shows us that they not only had large gatherings but also went HOUSE to HOUSE teaching and breaking bread together!

Life Groups that help us build quality relationships and help us to apply revelation that is being taught is the only biblical method that will cause retention in your church! But the key to this is getting it OFF CAMPUS and into our everyday lives!

Statistics show that Millennials are are not interested in work and life balance they are interested in work and life INTEGRATION. The same is true about their faith. They don't just wanna show up on Sunday if they have not integrated their LIFE >> WORK >> and FAITH together as one! So...

How are you facilitating relationships? How are you empowering individuals to take the Gospel to their workplace and to shift culture? Also, does all of this fit within the current church pattern that we have in America? Well...the answer is yes and no....There are ministries that are moving in that direction but the majority of churches are clueless about what is going to take place here in the next 5-10 years when it comes to church!

Click Here for my Prophetic Prediction of the Church within the next 5-10 years!

So why have I stayed? Well, because I have a firm conviction about the importance of the local church! I know how much we are needed! I have stayed because I have been taught the message of the Kingdom! That teaching has grounded me when a lot of people and systems have failed. The Gospel of the Kingdom is a message of empowerment and I have been challenged to pursue the purpose that God has given me.

I believe that if we make discipleship (from a Kingdom perspective of empowerment) our focus along with meaningful relationships we will be successful in reaching the next generation with the Gospel!

-Ryan Cole

Click Here for the continuation of this conversation in my next BLOG...