Communicating can be the death of a marriage if it's not done well. How can two people walk together except they agree? Now it's not about seeing the same way, but about understanding the other person's perspective and coming to an agreement about how you're going to move forward together. We’ve put together 8 tips to help you communicate more effectively with your spouse.
1 - Make Prayer A Priority
Talking to God more often will help you communicate more effectively with your spouse. Don't just complain to God, ask Him to help you understand your spouse and give you wisdom.
2 - Talk To Them, Not At Them
Don't just come to your spouse, listing demands or complaints. Learned to be very restrained and strategic about what and how much you bring up in one sitting. Listen to their perspective instead of looking for the response you think is appropriate.
3 - Let Go Of The Myth Of Mindreading
Don't expect your spouse to know what you're thinking or feeling, this has to be expressed. In addition, don't assume that you know what they are thinking. Assumptions only lead to misunderstanding.
4 - Listen To Hear, Not To Respond.
When you’re listening to respond, you undermine your ability to actually learn about your spouse's perspective. You only want to defend yourself and you’re combing their words to look for ammunition. Resist this urge and instead, pay close attention to what they are trying to tell you.
5 - Offset The Negativity
If all your communication is negative, that’s a problem. We're not saying to ignore the issues, but make sure you're affirming your spouse in as much as you are criticizing them and complaining. Be intentional about complimenting them and making positive declarations about whom you believe they could become.
6 - Learn Their Love Language
There are 5 Love Languages and we all have a dominant one. How you naturally give and receive love affects how you respond to confrontation in a relationship. Knowing your spouse's love language helps you to use the right approach when dealing with addressing problems.
7 - Remove The Distractions
Set aside time every week for you and your spouse to talk. Make it a point to put your phones and other devices in the other room. Occupy the kids with an activity/movie or get a sitter for a few hours. Come prepared with a list of topics but don't interrogate one another.
8 - Address Your Anger
If you're screaming at one another there are two reasons why. First, neither of you feels heard or seen. You may be speaking about the same topic but you don't understand from their context. Secondly, there may be some unresolved pain from your past that needs to be addressed. You may need counseling to uncover the root of your pain & to communicate it to your spouse with someone else present.
If you got something out of this blog make sure you share it with your spouse! Also, check out the first episode of our series on Communication in Marriage Below!
The covenant between a husband and wife is the force created to move humanity forward. No institution exists with more importance. All of the cultural issues that we are facing on a global scale, including the debates surrounding sexuality, gender identity, and gender equality are all indicators of how far we have shifted from God’s original design for marriage. It’s time for the church to step forward and raise the Biblical standard because marriage is the solution that the world has been searching for.
Through a combination of personal stories, Biblical teaching, and practical instruction, you will learn how to properly navigate through three stages of dating and marriage using the Tabernacle of Moses as a reference. This message will empower you to move beyond the surface levels of dating and marriage so that you can experience true and lasting love. Whether you are single or married, this teaching will help you navigate through the complexities of relating to the opposite sex. God's desire is for you to experience the gift of marriage. Imagine what would happen if your marriage became a tabernacle for the Glory of God!