When you think of a healthy relationship, what are the metrics for determining where you’re at? Well, I’ve compiled these 8 habits that healthy marriages have. How many of these 8 can you check off as a priority in your relationship? There’s always room for improvement in any marriage, if you see one of these areas and you feel like you are lacking as a couple, have a conversation with your significant other and put an action plan in place to work on that area! It’s as simple as that.
1 - They Have Date Nights
We strive to follow the 7x7x7 rule when it comes to prioritizing time with one another. We spend exclusive, undistracted time with one another every week. That means no phones, quality conversation, and intentional physical touch. Date night doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. As long as you’re spending quality time together and connecting it could be as simple as a backyard or living room picnic.
2 - They Communicate Their Feelings
Communication is key, but making sure you’re listening to actually hear and not just to respond is key to effective communication. Don’t be afraid to share what you’re going through, especially if you’re offended by your spouse. Keeping things bottled up will only lead to disastrous explosions and accusations in future disagreements. On the other end of the spectrum, you shouldn’t be complaining to your spouse every day, especially about the same thing you addressed yesterday. Give them space and time to grow. Finally, choose the time to share very carefully. 5 minutes after your spouse gets home from work is not the time to unload on them. Be intentional about the timing of when you share.
3 - They Learn Each Other’s Love Language
This one comes from the famous book by Dr. Gary Chapman “The 5 Love Languages.” The fact is we all give and receive love in different ways. You may share the same love language as your spouse and that will make it easier to give and receive love, however, a lot of couples do not share the same language. 1. Words of Affirmation 2. Gifts 3. Acts of Service 4 Quality Time 5. Touch. Which one or two of these reflect how you respond to love? Make sure you are intentional about speaking your spouse’s language and not just showing them love in your language. I encourage you to pick up this book if you haven’t already.
4 - They Do Chores Together
This one seems fairly simple but in a household, it’s easy for the household duties to be shoved off on one person or another. Choose a day where you take an hour or two and together clean your shared spaces. Make it fun and put on some good music or even a relationship podcast so you can grow together while you clean together. Cleaning house while you’re cleaning the house…
5 -The Know How To Apologize And Mean It
Words can be powerful but they can also be void of impact if you never follow up on your words. It’s important to recognize when you’ve hurt you spouse, let them know you are remorseful about your actions and tell them how you plan to change. Saying, “I’m Sorry” is a start but saying “Here’s what I’m going to do to make things right” is even more powerful.
6 - They Give Each Other Space, When Needed
While it’s good to prioritize time together, sometimes you just need time to yourself. It’s very mature of both of you to feel comfortable alone. Have an activity that is all your own, whether that’s a nightly walk, working out, or a hobby. Especially when you’ve had a conflict with your spouse giving space to think and pray is important. They key to this is that you always plan when you’re going to come back together to talk about your challenges.
7 - They Make Time For Intimacy
Yes, it’s okay to schedule sex. Sex is good when it’s spontaneous but it can be equally as good when you tell your spouse that morning, “Get ready because tonight I’m gonna show you a good time.” Thinking about it can create good anticipation. If you’re not careful, life can move quickly and you look over your month and realize you haven’t had sex with your spouse at all.
8 - They Make Sacrifices For One Another
The key to a happy marriage is learning the art of servant leadership. Do you serve your spouse? Do you make room for their dreams? or have you made the relationship all about you? There are seasons when you give and there are times when you should receive. Notice, I didn’t use the word “take.” When you receive something it normally implies gratefulness and humility. The bottom line, serve one another and sacrifice for your spouse with a humble heart.
These are just a few habits of healthy couples. There are certainly more…
BONUS - They Pray Together
This is certainly not last on the list. What makes a relationship solid is having Christ at the center. That means each of you should be maintaining a relationship with God and allowing that relationship to converge in moments of prayer and worship together. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Put on a worship album and spend some time together but apart, meaning you’re in the same room praying individually. Then come together and discuss when you need to pray about and target those things together, bringing all your burdens and concerns to God, TOGETHER!
If you got something out of this blog make sure you share it with your spouse and also share it with a friend!
The covenant between a husband and wife is the force created to move humanity forward. No institution exists with more importance. All of the cultural issues that we are facing on a global scale, including the debates surrounding sexuality, gender identity, and gender equality are all indicators of how far we have shifted from God’s original design for marriage. It’s time for the church to step forward and raise the Biblical standard because marriage is the solution that the world has been searching for.
Through a combination of personal stories, Biblical teaching, and practical instruction, you will learn how to properly navigate through three stages of dating and marriage using the Tabernacle of Moses as a reference. This message will empower you to move beyond the surface levels of dating and marriage so that you can experience true and lasting love. Whether you are single or married, this teaching will help you navigate through the complexities of relating to the opposite sex. God's desire is for you to experience the gift of marriage. Imagine what would happen if your marriage became a tabernacle for the Glory of God!